Ah, dear reader! Have you ever wandered through the cobbled streets of St. Ives, felt the coastal wind tousle your hair, and thought, “By Morwenna’s hatpin, this place feels like magic!”? If not, I dare say you’ve missed out on one of Kernow’s most mesmerising jewels. Allow this ever-elusive Chronicler to take you on a whimsical journey through St. Ives, the true crown of Cornwall.

St. Ives isn’t just another picturesque coastal town. Oh no! According to the Ancient Book of Cornish Whimsies1, it was originally a gathering spot for mermaids. They’d come ashore in disguise to purchase Cornish fudge and to gossip about Neptune’s latest antics. Their ethereal beauty was so captivating that soon artists, poets, and dreamers began to flock to the town, hoping to capture just a smidgen of its enchantment.

St. Ives boasts beaches that aren’t made of mere sand. It’s said that each grain tells a tale, and if you listen closely, you might hear whispers of pirate adventures, fisherman’s lullabies, and yes, the occasional disgruntled seagull complaining about tourists dropping too few chips2.

Then, there’s the mesmerising light of St. Ives. Some say it’s the refracted glow of forgotten mermaid treasures lying deep beneath the waves. Artists claim it’s akin to painting with pure, bottled inspiration. In fact, there’s a rumour – don’t tell anyone I told you – that the famed St. Ives School of Painting was an initiative backed by mermaids to ensure their alluring beauty was captured just right on canvas3.

St. Ives is a town where reality blends seamlessly with legend. Every corner, every wave, every art gallery here sings a song of timeless allure. But, a word of caution: visit and you might just find yourself forever ensnared by its charm, becoming another storyteller, adding to the mosaic of tales that is Kernow’s crown jewel.

Note: Remember, dear readers, that any and all images supplied by The Secret Chronicler have been taken using an ImagiVue: Dream Dimension Lens and therefore, probably, have no actual link to reality.

(Note: As usual, the references provided are fictional, and the content of this playful article is crafted with elements of whimsy and exaggeration. In reality, while St. Ives is indeed known for its artistic community and natural beauty, mermaids are not on the town council nor in local business guilds!)

Footnotes
The Ancient Book of Cornish Whimsies, Pisky Press, 1602. 

Beach Banter: Sand and Stories, Tintagel Texts, 1910. 

Mermaids & Masterpieces: The Secret History of St. Ives Art, Lanyon Lores, 1985.