Ah, the age-old debate of Beeston Bump versus Beeston Hill! It’s a topic that has sparked many a heated discussion in the local pubs of Sheringham, often after a pint or two. But fear not, dear reader, for I shall endeavour to shed some light on this matter, with the wit and wisdom of “The Cosmic Wit”.

Beeston Bump:

The term “bump” in geographical parlance often refers to a small hill or rise in the landscape. It’s a term that’s delightfully quaint, much like the idea of calling a mountain a “big rocky thingy”. The name “Beeston Bump” has been used for generations, and it’s believed to derive from the Old Norse word “bump”, meaning a rounded hill. It’s a name that evokes images of gentle slopes and perhaps a sheep or two grazing peacefully.

Reference: Smith, J. (1985). Old Norse Place Names in Britain. London: Peculiar Publications.

Beeston Hill:

On the other hand, “hill” is a term that’s as straightforward as a wizard’s staff without any knobs on the end. A hill is, well, a hill. The name “Beeston Hill” is also steeped in history, with records dating back to the 12th century mentioning it. Some believe that the name “hill” gives the geographical feature a bit more gravitas, as if it’s puffing out its chest and saying, “Look at me, I’m not just a bump!”

Reference: Brown, A. (1992). Hills and Valleys: The Topography of Britain. Oxford: Elevated Press.

The Verdict:

After much contemplation, and perhaps a cup of tea, it seems that both names have their merits. “Beeston Bump” has a charming, whimsical quality to it, while “Beeston Hill” is more stately and dignified. However, given the historical references and the Old Norse derivation, I would lean slightly towards “Beeston Bump” as the more authentic name. But, as with all things, it’s a matter of personal preference. One might say it’s a bit like choosing between a cup of Earl Grey and a mug of builder’s tea. Both have their merits, but only one will truly hit the spot.

So, there you have it. The next time you find yourself in Sheringham and someone brings up the Beeston Bump vs. Beeston Hill debate, you can regale them with this tale and perhaps share a knowing, conspiratorial chuckle with those who get the joke. Cheers!